Conflicted

When I have to deal with something, I usually keep it myself because I bottle it in. I go cruising around the city for a while. I read novels for hours on end. I workout for long periods of time. It’s hard for me to open up to people. That’s probably why people see me as relaxed and carefree while really, I’m just putting on a smile and act like everything is fine. I put on such a good front that I sometimes believe it myself. That I don’t have any problems but then it all comes back when I’m alone and hits me all at once and I have moments of weakness where I try by myself to figure out everything.

That’s just the way I deal with problems and most of the the time it works for me. I will get over it. I realize that I shouldn’t be thinking so much about it and I move on with my life but sometimes people do help me through problems that I can’t figure out myself.

I will tell people my problems if I trust them enough. I will either get a straight response; other times I get a sugar-coated one. The straight responses are the ones that let me see the hard truth about the problem. There’s no more having to go through a maze full of dead ends. They tell me how it is from their point of view and I take it depending on how I feel about it and the same with the sugar-coated responses; although they may give me the softened up response, the cushioned fall from it might help in figuring things out in another way.

Everybody has their own way to deal with their conflicts. Nobody has all the answers. Sometimes dealing with it in their own method is the way to go and others times another perspective is just what people need to figure things out.