Realization

It was the one hardest night of my life. I couldn't stop thinking about it. I was asking myself questions such as why it happened and why him. I just laid there awake waiting for the day I would leave for Texas and attend my cousin’s funeral. While I was laying there in the dark, it made me realize how life gives and takes.

The day came when we went on a plane to Texas. Once we got off the plane, my family and I went straight to the funeral. When we got there, it was hard to keep calm about everything that happened. I remember the looks on my relatives’ faces. It was the look of despair.  The look questioned why it had to happen to him and why the world was so cruel. Then the time came and I saw my cousin for the first time since summer break. We only got to see him once because why would anybody want to look at a person that died young, right? But it happened. We needed to see him before we sent him off. We had to say our goodbyes so that he didn't have to worry about us.

His skin was pale and his eyes were closed. I really couldn't believe it. I remember saying “We were just together a couple of months ago...and now look at where we are”. At this moment, I was angry. I wanted to find the people who did this to him and have them punished. But I realized that it wouldn't matter. It wasn't going to bring my cousin back. Still it made my heart hurt in a way it never did before. I looked up to him. I wanted to be just like him.

I went to his mother’s house later on. There, it felt different. I knew the place wouldn't ever be the same. There was always going to be something missing there. I looked around at all of my relatives and thought about it; people never realize what they have until it is gone.

This experience taught me to enjoy the time I have during this lifetime and to appreciate the people around me and how fortunate I am to have what has been given to me. Although I am very sad that this all happened, I believe I made the most out of a horrible situation, it’s what he would've wanted for me to do. To accept reality and life  for how it truly is. How it’ll give you good times and have you endure hard times, but it is how you react to the situation that defines you as a person. Enjoy life and enjoy the company that comes a lot with it as much as you can. You don’t know what life will throw at you next.