I fell in love with this girl unknowingly...I guess it just happened. We met freshman year of high school, first as "just someone I knew." It felt like there wasn't much of a presence going on between us. She was just that "oh yea I know her" chick, or that “I know who you talking bout" girl. She knew me as "the crippled kid" because of my cast. Then one day I decided to take the bus and she sat next me and it was cool. I caught a glimpse of her iPod, "Scary Kids Scaring Kids," it blew my mind! I didn't think she would listen to that kind of music. At that moment she was the coolest girl I had ever met...but I wasn't in love with her. So I showed her some other bands and we became acquainted. We had the same classes and we started copying homework from another…well I mostly did. We became good friends and invited each other to things, walked home together with friends, and just hung out whenever we could. And still I wasn't in love with her.
Sophomore year starts. Everyone runs around “what lunch do you have,” “Crap where’s this room,” and “NO! I have that teacher!” Turns out we don’t have anything together, or at least that’s what I remember. But that didn't matter, I walked to her to class and we saw each other every day.
Sophomore year was the pinnacle of our relationship. But I wasn’t in love with her.
After a while, guys started to have crushes on her and she started to have crushes on guys. She was a very careful person when it came to talking to other guys. I was different though, I never came on to her strong, I kept my distance, and she still spoke to me. Our relationship started to become deeper, she trusted me and I trusted her too. Then she told me that she’s the reason that people leave her, but I disagreed. So she told me to make her a promise, one that would have made her hate me if I broke it. “Promise me, that you will never leave me.” I promised her, she didn't believe me. I held her, looked in her eyes, and said “I promise you, I will never leave you.” Days went by as usual, but I started to notice her smile, and her laugh, and it was cute. I started to notice the cuteness in her. It started to hit me, “wow I think I like her.” But I wasn't in love with her.
I told her I liked her, she thought I was crazy, I even thought I was crazy. But nothing changed; we were still hanging out the same as before. There were times where we had our moments, but I respected her and didn't push too hard. Then I found out she was leaving, but just for a vacation. Before she left, she said it was urgent that I go to her house. When I went there, it was like any normal day. But then she told me…”I like you too.” That’s when fireworks went off and I became the happiest person in the world.
I told her I wouldn't forget her while she was gone. So I would call and text her over time to see how she was doing and if she was having. It was going great; I couldn't wait for her to come back. Every day became exciting, just knowing that I’ll see her soon. I know it sounds creepy, but it had been so long since I felt that way for someone. She was also the first girl I gave all my effort to. It felt good to have liked someone and them like you back. But as time went on, texts were not responded and calls became short. When she came back, she didn't like me anymore and we drifted apart almost to complete strangers. The pain and heart break settled in but I made sure to keep my composure. She didn't like me anymore and I didn't like her either. Not because she didn't like me anymore and I was upset, but because I was in love with her.
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